Tuesday, September 29, 2009

devuelve me la vida que me has quitado

this was one of the most popular songs in spain while we were there. it means 'give me back the life you took from me'....it was january 15th - the infamous day all of our applications were due for our research opportunities for our third year of med school. but i wasnt signing any applications, i was far from signing anything for that matter. a few weeks before, i had EVERYTHING. i was a 2nd year med student running around all day, starting my rotations and loving every minute of it. i had an incredible boyfriend who i made sure to see everyday. i had amazing friends and i even got to live with one in my cute apartment. i was so excited about where life would take me professionally, romantically, and socially. but suddenly,my world stopped, and everything i had was ripped away from me. but what i never understood was that only my world stopped, everyone elses worlds were still going strong. its like i was lying completely still (literally and figuratively) while the whole world was passing me by and leaving me behind. i didnt understand why my friends were talking about all the applications they had to finish by january 15th. i realized that everyones life had gone on, and i had to accept that mine couldnt. i slowly learned to live vicariously through other peoples adventures and stories. there was nothing even remotely exciting going on in my everyday, so my friends lives became my soap operas, i loved hearing what people were doing. but i would be lying if i said it didnt kill me a little inside everytime. i know im missing out on a lot but i have to remember that one day i wont be missing out on things anymore. in the meantime, i have all your stories to live through. i told baldeep the other day before he went to our homecoming that now, he had to celebrate for two, and now i ask you all the same thing:

live a little better, dream a little bigger, fight a little longer, party a little harder...for me.


  1. Love you, you're so articulate, so honest, so Lotus-like. Emailing you now, cuz this comment's gunna be a doozy and it's just for you.

  2. Hersh - I live through you now. Everywhere I go, every time I shop, every meal I eat, every time I dance - I think if you when I do it.

    You keep us all going... everyday, every moment! I love you!

  3. "Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will"- Gandhi. And yaar- you have one of the indomitable-est wills I have seen!
    Every time I see the color green I remember that we wore the same green scrubs for two straight weeks.

  4. Your posts are always so thoughtful and inspiring, but this is one of your best ones yet. Love it.


  5. Bbear...crazy, I was just listening to that song the other day and it was reminding me of Madrid. And your last post reminded me of how your parents came to Madrid and brought stuff from stateside...i still have that scrubs DVD..haha..and having thanksgiving dinner at Hard Rock with them...amazing semester

    Always thinking about you Hersh. You're an inspiration...truly are

    Love you...Shiv

  6. Echoing everybody, I have always been a tremendous admirer of your unbelievable ability to live life to the fullest - in every sense of the word. I do my best to do that wonderful trait of yours justice (sans the whole shopping element). That being said, I usually just end up being embarrassingly late to everything awesome I plan to do.

  7. :o) Hope you had a good time with Jess and Leah today! I need to write you very soon.

  8. Wow. I love you and your candor. You are a gem, please don't forget it. True gems shine always, and you shine even in your darkest hour.

  9. My friend recently linked me your article on Divanee and I found my way to your blog. I am so incredibly touched by your story. I am literally in tears as I write this and from the bottom of my heart wish you the speediest recovery. It's so great to hear that you have a loving family and supportive friends by you through such a terrible time. I cannot even fathom what you are going through and I hope no other young girl has to experience such an unfortunate circumstance. Hearing about such inspirational stories really puts things in perspective - not just about bad things that may happen in our day to day lives but really making the most of everything that is wonderful. And I thank you for that. I realize this post is from years ago, but I couldn't help but comment now.