Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Allah ke Bande


Karma is an interesting thing... Of all My beliefs in Hinduism, it was the one that made the most sense, that made the other beliefs have some meaningful context (like dharma, reincarnation, etc). You could say it kinda held everything together for me. Karma is the concept that events happen in your life, whether good or bad, based on your previous actions or deeds. Makes total sense right?! It makes you feel that there is some cosmic justice in the world. It's even backed up by the laws of physics, which you know made my science-ey brain happy! 'every action causes an equal and opposite reaction.' karma is the closest thing any religion had to fact. I mean c'mon, how else do you explain LeBron James with his insanely talented Miami Heat losing the championship bitterly to the underdogs? Karma. But then I had my stroke, and all my beliefs and facts, became a lie. While I've made mistakes in life, I don't think any of them deserved even a week of this hell. Many people believe this is all because of karma and that I'm paying for something from a past life. Umm, ok... What do you say to that? Anyway, so by past life, they are implying reincarnation - which is, after death, your soul comes back to life in another life form. Now, I'm going to tell you all something...you will probably think I'm crazy, but I think I've seen my soul. Not just a peak, but a long, never-ending stare. Let me explain. When I had my stroke and woke up in the ICU, I had a horrible, horrible epiphany - I had lost everything. Everything. My whole body, my voice, my mind, my family, my friends, my life, my career, my everything. All I had left was my soul...everything else ha been stripped, and all that was left was what made me, me. And what I saw was a scared, sweet, innocent soul, untainted by vindictiveness or revenge. If this was the same soul inhabiting past lives, I highly doubt it could be capable of doing anything that would deserve this kind of hell.like say I was a lion in my past life, I would totally be like Simba from 'The Lion King' and sing and dance all day instead of fighting and killing. So, karma, why aren't you true?!?! I need you to be true. I need to get completely better for any of this to make sense, for there to be some kind of balance in this world. I think we all need that balance to get through the terrible things in life... I've always loved this song 'Allah kè Bande' but only recently looked at the words. It's about angel who truly learns to fly, only after he loses his everything, his wings. It says, 'it is only in the scattered pieces of your dreams that you will find the meaning of Allah's will.' Wow, so lost my everything...check, dreams scattered...check! so maybe I will find meaning in all this...and truly learn to fly.