Monday, July 12, 2010

will you be there?

let me share with you all a little story. not because it ties in perfectly with my blog, but because its a really cute story! the other day, i was watching tv with my nani (grandmother). she was telling me about how back in her day, no one ever said "i love you" to each other. so, for as long as she could remember, her husband never once told her he loved her. but she never had any doubt in her mind that he loved her like crazy. she saw it in his every action, everyday... it is such a simple story, but so profound. do actions speak louder than words? by some stroke of luck, i have become somewhat of a writer, so i do believe words have power. maybe our hearts fall for words, but our minds need something more, some action, some evidence, some proof. i guess that was how i was. yes, i was so vulnerable to what people said, but sometimes, that wasnt enough. whether it was because i didnt fully trust people, or their words were too good to be true, i needed more than just their words. the doctors and everyone began to be more positive and optimistic to me. some were saying i would get all better, i would walk again, i would do everything again. i shouldve been ecstatic, right? that was exactly the news i had been dreaming of hearing for months. but i wasnt ecstatic at all, i was crying. to me, they were just words, words that sounded way too good to be true. where was the evidence, where was the proof?!?... lets just say, im still waiting for that proof. another phrase i kept hearing a lot was not from my doctors, but from my friends. i kept hearing people say they would be there for me through everything. but what did that mean? yes people were all there then because i had just had my injury, but i thought, what about in a few months or a few years. i feared the worst. i knew the novelty of being a sick persons friend would wear off and people would get back to their own lives. i kept hearing these words of support from people, which shouldve comforted me, but instead, scared me. they were just words, i needed proof. this time, i got ALL the proof i ever needed, and then some. some of you may know my best friend rajul. we met while we were still in the womb (literally! our moms were best friends and were pregnant together). and now 25 years later, we are still best friends, two souls, but one heart, and about a million inside jokes. she was visiting one day and told me she had a surprise for me. she then turned around, lifted up the back of her shirt, and what i saw left me awestruck. it was a tatoo, of my name, written in hindi. wow. i instantly knew then that my friends werent going anywhere. rajul was saying through that, that she was sticking with me forever, no matter how old and grumpy i get (or rich and famous)! to me, it meant i was worth sticking around for, and i really needed to realize, now i ask you,
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world?