Friday, May 7, 2010
The Sun will come out tomorrow
WHY DID THIS HAPPEN TO ME?!?! after the question of 'what' came the question of 'why' which will probably take up a few posts since i still havent found a proper answer. since many people find answers in religion so lets start there. i was a pretty religious person, and my moms family was the most religious family you would ever come across, so obviously i was kind of too. i had been to temples all over the world, went on various pilgramages, fasted ever so often, bathed in the ganges river (ew who does that?! haha babu), and prayed everyday for me and my familys health and happiness. now, what good did any of that do? i received the opposite of my measly request. now lets look deeper at the beliefs of hinduism. so i think most people of every religion follow the rules of karma, if you do whats right and fulfill everything asked of you, good things will happen to you. so thats what i had lived by, good things happen to good people and bad things happen to bad people. so i was a good daughter, a good sister, a good hindu, a good girlfriend, a good friend, a good student, a good person. i was all set to live a good life. but then i had to learn the hard way - bad things happen to good people. since hindus believe in reincarnation, it has been mentioned that maybe im paying for something from my last life. well wow, i must have been someone terrible in my last life, someone like lord voldemort! but really, i cant think of anyone terrible enough to deserve this fate. another popular theory is that of the evil eye. i hate this one. it basically says the jealousy from other people can bring bad luck to good things in a persons life. call me naiive, but i believe people are inherently good and cant cause bad things in others lives. the last theory is that maybe god let this happen, but is now helping me on this road to recovery. but this road has been paved with pain and suffering so far. i may have great people in my life, but they cant be there when push comes to shove. i dont see the merciful hand of god in any of this, yet. so, you can understand my frustration with this whole religion thing. so as you can imagine, god and i arent on speaking terms right now. the only thing i do religously is watch gilmore girls everyday and the closest thing i have to a god or someone i listen to is uncle jesse, my brother, or nisha mukherjee. when all else fails, the one person that i can still trust, that i can still follow, that i can still listen to, is myself. so welcome to the religion of harshada. we have no rituals and no rules, no prophets and no gods, no bibles and no churches, just one, little belief that gets me through everyday - though today might be terrible, the sun will come out tomorrow.