the great escape

from the moment i blacked out to the moment i woke up in the icu, i dont remember anything except one distinct memory...I was somewhere between being awake and being asleep. i was laying down in some bed. my dad and possibly my nurse were standing over me on either side, watching me. i could hear my dad crying and reciting a hindu prayer. my breathing was getting slower and harder. was this the end?! scared, shocked, and confused dont even begin to explain my feelings at that point. all i could think about was how there were so many people i could NEVER leave behind, but it didnt seem like i had a choice.`my breathing got even slower and i felt myself drifting away... but to my surprise, i woke up in the icu. i was def relieved! but i knew i had a host of other problems, but at least i was still breathing. i realized that God could have ended my life when he had the chance, but he didnt and there must be a reason for that. instead of being sad about that, it motivates me to keep trying, to keep working, to keep fighting. or as howie told me, to just keep swimming.... my parents reassured me later that i was nevdr in any real danger. they were just weaning me off the ventilator and it wasnt fun to watch. i had escaped a huge battle but little did i know that i had a terrible battle ahead...